The Kind of Love That Builds Systems
Let’s talk a little bit about how managing programs holds the same principles of a healthy relationship. Yes, I went all cheesy on this blog post, but it’s Valentine’s Day, so why not? I am going to have fun writing this today.
If you think about it, a lot of what makes a relationship work over time also shows up in how we manage and evaluate programs.
For example, rushing rarely helps. In healthy relationships, you take time to really get to know the other person. You listen to what they are saying and you truly pay attention before making big commitments. In evaluation, it isn’t much different. You sit with the data. You look at it from more than one angle. You ask one more question before drawing conclusions. You give the analysis room to breathe instead of forcing it into a quick answer.
Now, you know what’s also very important? Communication. In a relationship, saying one thing and doing another creates problems. In program management, saying a need is the priority but funding something completely different creates the same kind of disconnect. Alignment isn’t romantic, but it really does build trust.
Then there’s the whole idea of testing assumptions. In relationships, you learn quickly that what you think is happening isn’t always what’s actually happening. Same with programs. That’s why we pilot before scaling. That’s why we refine. That’s why we set guardrails instead of hoping for the best.
Context matters as well. Background, experiences, differences. Ignoring those details rarely leads to understanding. That’s true in relationships, and it’s true when we disaggregate data and look at student demographics instead of assuming everyone experiences systems the same way.
So, let’s keep the parallels going. If we keep the Valentine theme for a minute, managing programs and maintaining healthy relationships share more patterns than we could think of:
Patience. You take time to understand before making commitments. In programs, that looks like sitting with the data and digging into root causes instead of rushing to solutions.
Consistency. One big gesture doesn’t sustain a relationship. One strong data point doesn’t define a program. It’s the pattern over time that shows the impact.
Alignment. Words and actions need to match. In program management, priorities and funding should match too.
Boundaries. Healthy relationships clarify expectations. Programs need guardrails, parameters, and clearly defined roles so things don’t drift.
Feedback. You check in. You adjust. You refine. Monitoring implementation and recalibrating strategies is part of keeping things steady.
Context. People are different. Experiences are different. Ignoring that rarely leads to understanding. The same goes for student data and demographics.
So, next time you’re drafting a plan or allocating a budget, treat it like a relationship you want to keep. Slow down. Align your actions. Pay attention.
Happy Valentine’s everyone!
